Heavy Metal

Because sometimes your hottest breakdown happens under a spotlight.

This shirt features a chrome android who’s either telling jokes or revealing classified government secrets — no one’s really sure. She’s got a mic, a drink, and absolutely zero emotional stability. Just like you, probably.

It’s giving: open mic night on a rogue space station.
It’s serving: sad girl slay meets robot cabaret.
It’s made for: people who laugh through the pain… and look hot doing it.

🧢 Specs:

• 100% USA-grown cotton — because you like your shirts like your androids: domestic and dramatic

• Thicc 7.5oz heavyweight fabric — for maximum drama and minimal floppage

• Built like a tank, feels like a hug, makes you 12% funnier (unconfirmed)

Great for:

• Awkward flirting at weird bars

• Pretending your life is a French cyberpunk film

• Trying stand-up comedy one time and immediately quitting

Warning: Wearing this tee may result in side-eyes, existential crises, and spontaneous robot voice impressions.